The 3 Keys To (Not So) Last minute Shopping For Your Valentine

Since I am not the person to talk to for "last-minute" shopping, I thought I'd post a few of my tips well in advance of Valentine's Day, February 14th. Why don't I believe in last minute shopping? I think it often leads to costly expenditures and often misunderstandings. Our money is so precious these days, and last-minute usually means we haven't taken the time and effort needed to really find the right fit. After all, we give gifts to make someone happy. And I want to get away from the one-click solves all ideas. One good quality well-thought-out item is more appreciated and more value for your money long term. That, I guess, like all other worthwhile things, takes takes time, effort, and money.My thoughts can be summed up with the following three easy to remember letters: "R.S.P." And I'm not talking anything financial here, thank God...

"R" - for "research". Ask ask your loved one what they like. It's that simple. Like in sales, ask for the order. If you don't ask, you won't learn what a person likes, and more importantly - dislikes. Ask what their best or worst gift ever was. Try to get inside their head. It's about them, not you. Understand their lifestyle, preferences and needs. If this is a really special occasion (engagement, anniversary, birthday...) make sure give yourself enough time to look around in shops too, great sales still on. For tighter budgets, if you know someone dreams of, for example, breakfast in bed, or an hour-long foot massage, you can present this with humour and create a bonding experience with a low-cost, caring gift. Bath and Body Works sells scrumptious massage oils and anti-stress products. Know someone with the I hate winter blues?  We all do! A ski, or snowshoe weekend is caring, thoughtful, and bonding. Add a spa treatment a deux afterwards and you're her hero. Guys, go shopping with her for an hour, it won't kill you! and you'll learn more about her - for example something as simple as what colors she likes or dislikes. For that special occasion, chances are you've already shopped with her/him, so you have some clues. People tell us a lot about themselves if we're prepared to put ourselves totally aside and listen to them. Did your grandmother also keep telling you why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we speak! Ugg, but true. Guys, if you have deep pockets these days, I've never heard yet of a female returning a pair of diamond studs. (Maybe to get a bigger size!).  Fortunately, there are all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors, and price ranges.  And have we women ever  heard of a man refusing a great gourmet home-cooked meal for him and his buddies, and perhaps a back massage for him. I'm still getting mileage out of that TLC I gave my husband last Christmas!

"S" is for "Surprise".This can make a Valentine's Day gift really memorable. Surprise and humour go a long way. For someone who has everything, humour can totally re-package the expected. I will always remember, (not that I'd want someone to do this for me, though!), a female friend of mine who had everything, and had just moved to Holland, was proposed to on Valentine's Day. Her successful fiance took her out to a super resto. She was full of anticipation. He gave her a nicely wrapped gift during the soup course. She opened it and found a book entitled "Dutch Cooking". She tried to smile, but needless to say was thinking of  tossing the soup. A few minutes later, her spoon hit a giant sparkly object at the bottom of the bowl...yes you guessed it. This idea is not for everyone, but it makes a good story. And shows humour can make an event memorable, that's what you're striving for. Tailor your humour to his or her tastes, though, that's where research comes in. If humour is taking advantage of someone's weaknesses, it's not funny.

"P" is for personalize. If he says he wants a drill set for the garage or something totally mundane, we should take that as a buying signal. That's what he wants. But present it in a personalized way just for him, either through wrapping (in paper made of photos of his favourite moments), or in small and large multiple packages, or present it at a favourite restaurant. Key is to listen to what he says. If it's one of those gifts for a sister, or mother in law, six months of flowers she can select herself at her local florist is about as personalized and memorable and unexpected as one can get. 

Need more original ideas? What about a personalized shopping excursion for him/her with a friend to Toronto's "insider" shopping locations, including limo and chauffeur... or a walking tour of vintage shops, all starting at $200 for 2 hours. Great mother-in-law gift too. (Gift certificates available by contacting Barbara Captijn, Director, Insider Shopping Toronto Ltd, at bcaptijn@gmail.com.)